Over a decade ago, I lost my younger brother to gun violence.
That experience broke me open in a way I couldn’t prepare for.
And the tools I had as a man of color?
They weren’t enough.
What I inherited—anger, disconnection, silence—only created more tension.
More distance from myself. More pain for the people I loved.

A turning point came when I was introduced to Yin Yoga.
I had been practicing yoga for years, but Yin was different.
It slowed me down in ways I didn’t know I needed.
It helped me pause in the discomfort instead of pushing through it.
And most importantly—it helped me reconnect with my body,
and through my body, my emotions.

It was the first time in years that I realized:
Soft is strong.
Soft is what I had been missing.
Soft is what I was never taught.

If you’re reading this thinking,
"This guy is full of it…"
Trust me—I’ve been there.
Skeptical. Frustrated. Tired of being told to “just breathe” when everything felt like it was falling apart.
I thought I could do it alone.

But the truth is—I didn’t have the tools to do it differently.
All I had was a toolbox full of survival tactics.
And those tools were no longer working.

So I spent the last decade building something new—
A system of support.
A toolbox of practices rooted in nervous system healing, rest, reflection, and cultural honesty.

The Softening is that toolbox.
It’s my offering to other fathers of color—especially the skeptics.
Especially the ones who were told not to feel, not to slow down, not to ask for help.

This journey isn’t easy.
But it is yours.
And you don’t have to walk it alone.